3 1/2 years and counting

Whew! What a ride!  I've been back in New York for over a year now, got promoted twice and what a drastic change things have been from my quiet life on the west coast.  The entire 3rd year of my locs I've almost abandoned them.  I've been free forming for the most part but decided to groom them.  It's the most work I've done all year!

While I was away...

 I just did a braid out for my staff holiday party this Friday.

 First braid out I've done in years!

 I usually wear my hair like this to work.

 I've been free forming the entire year...

 Not my favorite beehive bun but one I've actually captured on camera.

 Back in February.

 Could care less my roots were completely grown out!

 Not sure what was happening here :p

I'm content with the length they are and can't wait for waist length.  I giggle now when I get asked if it's all my hair.  Smh.  I guess I'm happy with my locs.  I won't be taking them down until they literally fall out of my head. 2015 was an amazing year for me!  It definitely made up for the tumultuous ride I've had the last few years!  Thank you so much for the support and feedback!  Happy Holidays!!!

2 years 2 months

Didn't mean for so much time to pass on this blog.  There's been so many changes going on in my life.  I am relocating back to NYC from the west coast in about a month.  I have been sick, I got into a car accident the morning of my state exam, I've also been in therapy.  I am also seeing a domestic violence counselor on top of it... (but we're not getting into that).

So I watched a tutorial on how to get short locs into a faux bun and it has given me life! When I find the name of the youtube video I will edit this post.

 Surprisingly, no one said a word about my locs during clinicals.  That made me happy.

I've been mostly wearing my hair like this lately.  Too hot for it to be on my neck.
Anywho, looking forward to my 3 year loc anniversary and a healing summer of solitude...

While I Was Away...

15 months...

 

18 months...
 

 

almost 19 months...
 

 

Pictures between 16 - 17 were lost due to a broken phone.  Anywho, I will be 19 months loc'd in 3 days from today.  I can get most of them into a crooked ponytail and that is enough to make me smile.  I still wish they were a few inches longer but I'm ALOT happier these days with my locs.  I think in a year from now I will be more satisfied.  I've trimmed them, styled them, decorated them, and I feel much more comfortable in my skin.  I feel like they are shrinking!  They seem smaller to me now that they are almost fully mature.  I feel more beautiful with my natural hair than I do with hair weaves...  I just don't like how they look on my face anymore.  I'm not sure what it is.

This picture was taken after a job interview... (sigh).  One day I will be able to capture my locs into a neat bun and hopefully won't have to wear weaves anymore to look "professional."

Welp, Happy Halloween!

14 months in

I literally woke up one day, looked in the mirror... and I suddenly liked my locs a little more.

I'm a little insecure about wearing my hair out and about when they're not manicured.  I guess I just don't want to be a stereotype with dreadlocks.  I want them to look "fashionable," "neat," etc.  I know once they are fully mature and able to do a ponytail, they will look good with or without maintenance. (I prefer the free-form look).  Some days I get frustrated and wear my old hair weaves when I feel ugly. lol

I finally have hair in the back of my head again.  It would always break off whenever I wore certain weaves and/or relax and dye my hair.  The only time it has ever grown was when I was natural.  (It didn't grow with a professional either no matter how careful I was).  Comparison shots:

 1st week before big chop (above)

14 months later

I'm just glad my hair is healthy again.  Anywho, it's my birthday weekend and I might take a break from this blog for a few months.  The length has put me in a funk even though I know it's growing. (sigh)  I'm just bored with the length.  There's only so much to do with hair this short.

13 months

My first braidout!  They are finally looking like actual dreadlocks!!! Ugh! =)

the braids I wore for a few days...

 !

 finally some damn length. lol

One of the things that have been driving me mad is from afar I don't look like I have dreads.  Braiding helps tame the fuzzy beasts and they are so much healthier than what I started with over a year ago.  No more damaged hair!  Also, I've recently realized my locs are super smaller than what I thought I had.  Now that they are maturing I can see their actual size.  Small traditional locs borderline what would be called "brotherlocs" maybe?  I might combine them in the future, but my partner won't let me... smdh. lol  says I should be patient and see how they age.  I guess I should.

when I went natural...

          I love it that I was questioned for going natural when I was 12-13.  I love it that I was bullied for my afro in high school.  And now it has become a 'trend' supposedly.  Tis why I had a hard time respecting fashion growing up.  Now I see it as art.  It's always been art.  Anywho, I guess what I'm trying to say is, why get mad at the "new naturals" when for the first time in their lives they are getting to know their hair.  They are finally seeing how unique their hair texture is and that it is something not to cover or hide, but flaunt.  Embracing yourself is a very difficult thing for some people.  It was for me.  As far as lifestyle, I understand some people are so busy they don't even have time to look in the mirror.  And I understand that some styles are just easier for them as far as time management.  But everyone's life is unique.  At the time I went natural, it was because I felt like we were all doing it because there was something wrong with our hair.  It was the trend.  Every girl in my class who has afro texture hair had a perm or press by 5th grade.  I figured, 'God made me this way' and there's nothing wrong with not straightening my hair.  There's nothing wrong with my hair not laying down for once.  At the time I was awkward in my skin and hated everything about myself (down to my skin color).  So I did it.  I wanted to see what I looked like natural.

          I did it for several years and in my early 20s I decided to try wigs, weaves, extensions, relaxer again, etc.  And since trying those hairstyles, in my life, those hairstyles have caused me more stress and money than hair ever needs to be or cost.  So for me, natural meant low maintenance.  Waking up with the same head of hair that I went to bed with.  Most of that period I wore my hair natural underneath an amazing lace wig. lol.  I got so tired of not seeing myself.  I got tired of not jumping in the pool.  the rain.  the wind.  Sex in the shower... lol  Anything that would frizz out my freshly straightened and curled weave.  It was even worse when I did all this to look "presentable" and to be deemed attractive and the person I was dating at the time would talk about my natural hair in a condescending tone.  I got tired of hating myself. 

          All in all, not everyone that goes natural is making a statement.  And that is okay too.  Not everyone who is currently natural (or isn't natural) hated or hates themselves like I did.  And that is okay too.  I'm actually glad it is a 'trend' because we are finally getting the market to pay attention to products for curlier kind of hair.  I'm seeing more actresses get hired with their natural hair and it's been awesome.  Some people are attracted to a girl with 'wild' curly hair and some aren't.  If it is looks you are worried about (in going natural), just know sometimes the thing you hate the most about yourself is the very thing that someone is attracted to you for.  My current 4 year relationship is proof of this.

(most recent)

1 Year!!

1st week (big chop):

1st year:

They are almost fully mature.  I'd say about 80%.  I'm looking forward to my 2nd year and shoulder length locs!  Right now I'm still rebelling against any chemicals in my hair, but I think some day I will color them a chocolate hue.