Seems like every month it gets better. I almost walked outside with my natural hair. I'm still not comfortable with the way it looks in the back of the head, but in time I will. It's been so long since I've been 100% natural. I normally don't relax my hair but for the last several years I've been wearing wigs/weaves and covering my natural. I guess a better way to describe what I'm trying to say is, 'imagine a woman that starts wearing make-up to the point where she cannot be seen without it. Going out and about without make-up makes her feel insecure/unattractive.' I'm not sure when it came to this point... then again I do. I was with someone who told me to "always look your best." Best to this person meant looking how celebrities look to only do grocery store errands. They dressed me and chose my outfit as if I were a doll for them to show off. I remember when I separated with said person, we were going out with friends (as friends) and I said, "do I look alright?" They replied with telling me to wear two bras so that my breast look larger (they weren't joking). I just remember in my head saying "
wrong answer!" but I nodded and smiled politely.
I don't know why in the past I've attracted people to make me feel even worst about my self esteem. I'm just glad the storm is long over. I'm happy in my life and with a partner that encourages me everyday to be 100% myself. And then I exhaled...
My first kinda sorta mohawk with my natural hair:
At this point I have 228ish healthy locs!
